I haven't blogged in ages, I know. Either there just hasn't been anything interesting happening around here lately, or I'm just really not motivated enough to be creative with the introspect.
Whatever. I did finally get inspired to blog today because I took Elise to her very first ever ballet class. I have done a toddler "parent & me" gym class with her once before this, but today's ballet class was her first 'non-me' class.
To backtrack slightly, the parent participation class that we had previously done, was a 9 week class...30 minutes, once a week for 9 weeks. It took Elise until about the 7th or 8th week to finally participate in a majority of the scattered activities. She had clear favorites, like the parachute, that she would participate in every time, but others she was less fond of...like the warm-up. Some she grew to like.
Anyway, since she opened much during the span of that 9 weeks, I thought she might be ready for something new, like this ballet class.
Well, she looked awfully cute, but she spent most of the 30 minutes outside the building, either pouting, crying or trying to talk me into taking her to the playground across the street instead.
It was frustrating because she was the only one there who refused to participate...it was the first class of the series so there were all these moms, dads and even grandparents there, taking pictures of their little princesses, all doing everything the teacher told them to do.
And then there WE were.
Elise running to the corner and me, on the floor, trying do all the little exercises to show her how FUN it all is!
She studied the class a little bit, sometimes even copying the hand movements they were doing to the tune of the song they were all singing. But mostly, she just climbed on and off the bench and then, at one point, Lola accidentally stepped on her hand and that made her cry. Loudly. I swooped her up and took her out of the room, not wanting to disrupt the class.
I don't know how I should've handled the situation. It definitely felt wrong to scold a 2 year for not participating in a ballet class that she clearly didn't want to do, but I must admit, it was embarrassing to have all those eyes on me... eyes that probably judged me, at least a little bit, for not having more "control" over my child. Or at least, this is my insecurity.
Instead, I just took her outside and tried to provoke her interest in the class by pointing out the things they were doing. We stayed for the whole class, most of time we were outside looking in the window. Whenever I would ask her if that looked like fun, she would agree with a big grin on her face. Then I'd try to get her to join the class and she'd meet my face with her stern expression and say "NO, mommy".
*sigh*. I don't know why this upset me so much today. I guess it's moments like these that I wonder what I'm doing and doubting if I'm doing anything right. Please let me know if you have experiences to share!