Why am I up at 4 am? Well, why else? Elise is having trouble falling back asleep...At least this time, it's not the usual episode of night-wakeness. Typically, they last around 3 hours, with Elise nursing for at least half of that, wide awake and ready to play. Tonight, she is sick with a stuffy nose and cough. You can tell she really wants to go back to sleep, but just can't and she is understandably quite frustrated.
We've also begun the journey of weaning (well, not totally, but keep reading) and I think it's been a confusing time for the both of us. Anyone who knows me or has read my blog for a while knows that nursing has always been a rough road for me. What started off as incredibly painful and uncomfortable has only become less so in the last two years, but never completely free from discomfort. I vowed to commit to 2 years, nonetheless.
Anyway, I did not wake up Sunday morning and decide today was the day or anything dramatic like that. We were on a family weekend getaway in the desert with some friends and my mother-in-law, who took care of the girls on Saturday night, while Dan and I let loose.
The girls slept in their grandma's room all night and it was the very first time I've slept apart from Elise. But she did great and the next day, didn't even ask for milk. Before we knew it, it had been over 24 hours since I had last nursed her. I had a decision to make and it was a tough one. Either we go back to the way it was before, with her nursing every hour or two and me cringing and resenting it all or we take this opportunity to make some changes. At first, I got the bright idea to wean completely, but I realized quickly that she is still a baby and so not ready for that. But it doesn't mean we can't compromise. I've always said that if we could just cut back to once or twice a day, I think I could tolerate for a longer period of time, so that is what we're doing. Since Saturday evening. And it's going pretty well, I have to say. I avoided doing this sooner because I really believed there would be a huge protest on her part, but that hasn't really happened. Well, the first night was rough, I won't lie. But it gets better every minute.
And we are getting better too. The first day, we didn't even realize it, but the second day was strange. I almost felt like she was avoiding me and I was avoiding her. I know this is going to sound so strange, but I believe we were confused about the status of our relationship. Nursing has been such an integral part and all of a sudden, it was gone. She started coming around on the 3rd day. We are snuggling and playing together again, like she's realized that we can do this without it always ending in nursing!
Making Play Dough...Sort of.
13 years ago
3 comments:
It sounds like it's going really well. I'm so glad that you are reaching a compromise that makes both of you happy. That's the way it should be, but as mothers we often compromise, sometimes a little too much. Anyway, right on mama! Get those awesome cuddles that don't end in the scooting down butt and the hand pounding on the boob.
Congratulations, I hope you enjoy this new part of your journey.
I'm not kidding. I re-read the part about her staying in Grandma's room all night. I read it like three times just trying to imagine what that was like.
BTW, Molly is an awesome sleeper like E. You know, in that way in which "awesome" means "crappy." =)
You're doing an awesome job. I remember making a mental note when Elise was a newborn and I was pregs that Luci knows what she's doing.
Ha ha!! thank you, but seriously, are you sure you're not mistaking me for some other mama named Luci who really does have her stuff together???
:)
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