Saturday, November 15, 2008

Monkey in the Garden...


Ok, there is no monkey in the garden and this post actually has nothing to do with monkeys or gardens at all, but I just thought the title was catchy. Sorry, hope you weren't expecting something more exciting! Anyway, really all I wanted to talk about is that lately I've been feeling kinda down on myself. I've been feeling rather frumpy, actually. I haven't been taking the time to do anything with my hair, just the standard ponytail everyday. No make-up and nothing more exciting to wear than a t-shirt and a pair of sweats. Unless, of course, we're going out, in which case it's a t-shirt and a pair of JEANS. Huge difference.
I think this is totally fine if that is what you makes you happy. The only reason it makes me unhappy is because how I look on the outside is not at all how I feel on the inside and I think that is important. Perhaps some may think this to be vain or shallow...maybe they're right, but all I know is that my self-esteem greatly affects every aspect of my life, so when I'm not feeling very good about myself, it's huge.
Anyway, so with feeling frumpy comes feeling a bit outdated. Up until maybe 10 years ago, I always had eccentric hair, dyed various shades of purple. I finally grew it (plus many blond streak jobs that followed) all out and have had my own real hair color for 2-3 years now. I'm in the mood for drastic change!
I really wanted to cut it very short, dye it, etc...Dan, who much prefers my hair long, convinced me to try out some bangs and color first before chopping it all off. Because I am super impatient, I didn't wait for an appointment with a professional, I just started lopping off my own bangs willy-nilly until I somewhat acheived the look I was going for. There'll be much for my hairdresser to fix, but I thought it was a decent first effort.
I've also been watching way too much of TLC's "What Not to Wear"....I feel a lot like many of the women on that show....they are too self-concious of their bodies to buy clothing that actually flatters them. Like a lot of those women, I also stick to a basic uniform of black t-shirts and jeans and I would like to know how to incorporate more color and different kinds of cuts into my wardrobe.
Anyway, wish me luck. I just know that I am happiest when I'm exercising regularly and I feel like I fit well in my own skin, be it hair, make-up, clothes or the complete lack of. So long as I'm happy!

2 comments:

Espi, Lisa and Isabella said...

I have hit a similar slump and this may sound funny but I go to REI and try to absorb the energy from the store. I wanna be that rock-climbing, down hill skiing, kayaking free loving gal. But the visit always ends in a trip to the local Starbucks.

It's easier to be where we are than to change. I did pick up at get healthy book called "Strength for Life" by Shawn Phillips.

Hang in there! It can be done - even if the holiday season is just around the corner.

ps. I miss the old playgroup now that I am in Encinitas.

Sabrina said...

Luci, you are such a beautiful lady inside and out. I know exactly how you feel and don't think it is vain or shallow at all. No matter how tough times are, I always scrounge up enough money to get my hair done, and it makes me feel so much better. Hang in there pretty lady!