Double Standards...

I'm having a lot of trouble dealing with Lola the last couple of days. I don't know that it's neccessarily that she is out of sorts, or if it's just me. I'm inclined to say that it's me. We are clashing constantly and I'm getting super frustrated and saying really stupid things to her and using a tone that I totally regret as soon as the words hit the air. I was just talking to a friend at playgroup today who is feeling similarly...she hit the nail on the head when she said she was using a tone with her child that she would not even use on anyone else. Why are we using it with our kids???

On the way home today, Lola told me to relax, in response to me starting to get frustrated in some conversation we were having. So she said, "ok, ok, relax! You're driving me crazy!". I really wanted freak out on her for saying that, but I'm thinking, well, I said it to her earlier....why would it be ok for me to say it to her, but not ok for her to say it to me?

I told her those were not nice words to say, but I felt like a complete hypocrite. I need to learn how to be more patient with her. I don't want her to reflect on her childhood as a bunch of yelling and double standards. If anyone has any ideas, advice, book recommendations, whatever, tell me because I need a new perspective.
Part of it is probably the fact that I'm not usually on the computer this much. This whole blog thing has been addictive and I probably need to spend more time with her in a positive way.
So, with that, I bid you adieu.